Ted Cruz Is So Desperate, He’s ‘Deputy’ Dogging Me

As the hardworking staff noted yesterday, GOP presidential hopeful Ted Cruz (R-Jesus Loves You and I Might Too) has offered to make us a Deputy Delegate to the Republican National Convention in exchange for a modest donation to his campaign.

According to an email we received from the thoroughly unlikeable Texas senator (Q: Why do so many people take an instant dislike to Ted Cruz? A: It saves time), “while not everyone can be an official convention delegate, I’m asking you to join my online team by becoming a Deputy Delegate today.”

Whatever the hell that means.

Anyway, that email was barely cold in its Delete grave when Cruz was back with this one, subject line: “I haven’t sent it yet.”

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The very fact that Cruz would include the hardworking staff in a “small, select group of my closest supporters” – based entirely on our subscription to The Weekly Standard (whose mailing list, we presume, he purchased) – tells you a lot about the current state of political campaigns and campaign fundraising.

Neither of which, we hasten to add, the hardworking staff will be contributing to.

Even though we just now got this email.


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Our favorite part:

Deputy Delegates will be at the center of this historic effort. You will be among the first to know about important developments related to the campaign and will be invited to participate in upcoming strategy calls.

This is not for everyone: We are only contacting our most engaged supporters. That’s you.

Actually, it’s not. But thanks for asking.

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