Cable News Nets: “Forward,” March!

First it was MSNBC with its Lean Forward promotional campaign, described thusly:

TO LEAN FORWARD IS TO THINK BIGGER, LISTEN CLOSER, FIGHT SMARTER, AND ACT FASTER. TO CELEBRATE THE BEST IDEAS, NO MATTER WHERE THEY COME FROM. TO DARE TO DREAM OF A NATION THAT’S BETTER TOMORROW THAN IT IS TODAY.

The hardworking staff would settle for an MSNBC that’s better tomorrow than it is today, but why get technical about it.

Especially in light of this staggeringly pretentious “Declaration of Forward:”

Oh, wait! It was directed by Spike Lee! It’s supposed to be staggeringly pretentious!

Enter staggeringly opportunistic Fox News Channel with its new promotional campaign, Move Forward.

Script (illustrated with dramatic newsclips):

News breaks at a blistering speed. And as the story moves forward, we’re right there. Pushing the limits. Staying in front. And running down every detail.

We don’t stand around.

We don’t lean against a wall.

We break the wall down.

We move forward.

Of course, given that Fox News invests slightly north of zero in actual reporting, its army travels on its tongue more than anything else.

But why get technical about it.

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