From our That’s Just Sad desk
From time to time the hardclipping staff chronicles the mangled phrases issued by the differently clichéd among us and, man, they just keep piling up. Here’s our latest collection, in reverse chronological order. (Boldface emphasis ours.)
• Department of Justice antitrust chief Makan Delrahim was asked at a USC speech last Friday about possible White House meddling in the proposed AT&T-Time Warner merger to make the latter dump CNN before the deal would be approved.
(Apprentice-in-Chief Donald Trump has a thing about CNN head Jeff Zucker, who was Trump’s wingman back in his reality show days but now treats President You’re Fired very unfairly by producing fake news about him.)
According to CNN Money, Delrahim responded to the question thusly:
Despite what some people may say who like to inject politics into our review of the merger — that’s their right — I don’t have the resources to fight those — I gotta keep my nose down and be a law enforcer…”
Not to get technical about it, Mr. Delrahim, you gotta keep your nose clean, or alternatively, keep your head down.
But, all due respect, the hardworking staff thinks your head is actually up something.
• Politico’s Nerdcast last week featured a discussion about the GOP’s fast-tracking of tax cut legislation, with one Nerdcaster noting that the hurry-up offense was designed to keep lobbyists from digging in their hands to influence the tax changes.
Actually, they’d be digging in their heels, except – again, not to get technical about it – it would be the Capitol Hill solons who would do that. Lobbyists would want to get their hands on the pending legislation.
Either way, we’re guessing the taxpaying staff will come out poorer for it.
• Last month Politico’s Morning Score ran this item in its daily briefing.
Tom Steyer, the liberal California billionaire donor who wants President Donald Trump impeached, took a broadside at U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein and may run against her, a close associate said Wednesday . . .
Sorry, Scoreniks – Steyer either fired a broadside or took a shot at Feinstein. Not that she gives a damn about Steyer and his little impeachshooter.
• From an administrative memo at a local university:
At this time, I think it’s best if the section does not propose a departmental name change. Why? First, changing the departmental name in a small way with only a section name correction – and not changing the entire name to something more succinct and summative . . . may rankle some feathers across the street.
All due respect to both sides of the street, you either ruffle some feathers or rankle some people when you attempt to change anything in academia. Which, of course, is just rubbing your face with a brick.
• Last August, Slate’s excellent Political Gabfest cited Chicago mayor Rahm Emmanuel’s pushback against the threat by Attorney General Jeff Sessions to cut off federal funds for so-called sanctuary cities as an example of big city mayors “turning their thumbs up at the Trump administration.”
No – they would either thumb their noses at the Trump administration, or turn their thumbs down.
David Plotz, John Dickerson and Emily Bazelon, please take note.
• Also last August, CNN’s Reliable Sources newsletter noted that Fox Newshound Eric Bolling had just signed a new contract before he was suspended for sending lewd texts to colleagues. “This is almost an ink-is-still-dry situation,” the newsletter said.
Rely on this: That was a situation where the ink was not yet dry. But it is now.
• One month earlier, the Boston Globe chronicled the dustup between Red Sox pitcher David Price and NESN analyst Dennis Eckersley, when “a group of teammates reportedly cheered on Price as he berated the Hall of Fame pitcher for his criticism of Eduardo Rodriguez.”
Among those cheering was Sox infielder Dustin Pedroia, who told the Globe:
We’re moving past this. This was a month ago. We all love each other, we’re in here together. There’s nothing that’s going to divide this team.
For whatever people say from the outside, ‘Oh, we don’t have a leader.’ I’m standing right here, been here for a long time. We’re in first place. So that’s it. Write what you guys want. Here I am. You don’t see anybody else standing up here do you? Nope. Fact. There’s your source — from the mouth.
Fact: The straight scoop used to come from the horse’s mouth. Pedroia, however, is talking out of somewhere farther back.
• In June, Axios AM postmaster Mike Allen listed the fallout from Donald Trump’s “impulsive decision” to fire FBI director James Comey.
4. Stalled Trump: He was hardly cooking with grease on the legislative front pre-Comey. Now, White House officials think they will be lucky to end 2017 with any substantial bills signed into law.
Memo to Mikey: You cook with gas. You grease the lawmakers. Big difference.
Pass it on to the Doofus-in-Chief.
Woody and Summer are long in the
face because you didn’t quote
And the answer to the age-old question, “Why such a long face?”