Ben Carson Is So Desperate He’s Sending Mash Notes to Me

So what’s so strange about GOP presidential hopeful Ben Carson (R-Pyramid Scheme) romancing a person such as I?

Just that I have a) been a registered independent for almost 40 years and b) never voted in a Republican primary all that time.

But why get technical about it.

Because it really was kind of exciting to get this envelope in the mail the other day.

 

Screen Shot 2016-01-11 at 11.47.33 PM

 

Wait, what?

Lithograph Enclosed?

Shut up!

But first there was this.

Screen Shot 2016-01-11 at 11.44.59 PM

Highlight: The lithographed enclosed was commissioned just so I could have it! How special is that – not just to Dr. Carson, but to me!

Screen Shot 2016-01-11 at 11.45.21 PM

Highlight: I’ve surely honored God’s call to sacrifice in my own unique ways. Maybe as the World’s Oldest Living Altar Boy?

Screen Shot 2016-01-11 at 11.45.35 PM

Highlight: Not a clue.

Screen Shot 2016-01-11 at 11.45.52 PM

Highlight: This is all about the money.

So . . . that very personal, very special portrait:

 

Screen Shot 2016-01-11 at 11.46.53 PM

 

As weird as all that is, it’s nothing compared to the Carson robocall the Missus recently received. Weird because the Missus is a longtime registered Democrat – but hey, why get technical about it.

Partial transcript (because Ben Carson’s speaking style is sort of Prose Muzak, I fell asleep several times):

. . . launched my campaign . . . taking on a broken system in Washington and speaking truth to the American people . . . huge target on my back . . . attacks from politically correct . . . afraid of impressive grassroots support from all across the country . . . politically correct police out to get me . . . never stop fighting for what I believe . . . Washington is broken  . . . time for an outsider candidate to clean up the mess . . . one nation under God . . .

And etc. – especially please give me some money.

Then again (via WMUR) . . .

NH staff at pro-Carson super PAC quits to volunteer for Cruz

Five paid staffers’ last day was Sunday, call Cruz a ‘conservative who can win’

img-Ben-Carson-Absent-in-NH

MANCHESTER, N.H. —All five paid New Hampshire staffers at the pro-Ben Carson 2016 Committee super PAC quit their posts on Sunday to become volunteers for U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas, WMUR.com has learned.

Jerry Sickles of Keene, the spokesman for the staff, said he and the other four staffers recently came to the conclusion that Cruz is the conservative most able to win the GOP presidential nomination and the presidency. He also noted that Carson has spent very little time campaigning in New Hampshire, which became frustrating to him and the other staffers as they tried to build support in the state.

So, to recap: Ben Carson hasn’t been willing to make the sacrifice of actually running for president. But he is willing to go the extra mile to make money.

That’s so 2016.

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