Ads ‘n’ ends from last night’s Barack Obama/Mitt Romney bakeoff in the Mile High/Low Expectations City:

• If you picked “crushed” for your drinking game, you were knee-walking by 9:14.

• The first half hour of this thing was strictly Nintendo Air Debate: No connection with each other or with reality.

• Is it just us, or has Jim Lehrer lost a step?

• Coming soon to a TV screen near you:

An Obama ad that features Romney saying, “I’ll stop subsidies to PBS. Sorry, Jim. I like Big Bird. I like you, too. But not enough to borrow money from China.”

Announcer: “Really? Better to let China clean our clock in education and technology? Mitt Romney. Give him the big bird.”

• Romney is definitely taking the fight to Obama,  but his sickly sweet patronizing smile while Obama talks is just one zip code away from a smirk. Meanwhile, Obama barely looks at Romney. Not sure if that seems above the fray or just weak.

• It’s 9:42, and the hardworking staff has decided we don’t believe a single statistic from either of these guys.

• Love the CNN Speak-o-Meter: Obama 22:17, Romney 20:09.

• The Economics segment of the debate has just ended about five hours over its allotted time. Lehrer is getting totally rolled by Romney.

• Overall Romney is more forceful, Obama more tentative, detached and halting.

• Merciful end. This has been the longest 90 minutes in the hardwatching staff’s recent memory. But the short version is:

Romney won this debate. Going away.

P.S. So much for the GOP bedwetters like Fred Barnes (wee-wee’d-up piece in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal here).

Dry up, Fred.