Boston nightmare couple Frank and Jamie McCourt – the Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston of professional sports – are engaged in a truly ugly divorce, and the Los Angeles Dodgers are the abused offspring.

Frank (known in the Los Angeles press as “the Boston parking lot attendant”) says he alone owns the Dodgers; Jamie says they both own the franchise. A Wall Street Journal piece has Frank claiming he’s broke:

Mr. McCourt’s filing paints the picture of a man who, relative to his lifestyle, is operating without much of a cash cushion. In the filing, Mr. McCourt said his liquid assets consisted of a bank account with less than $1.2 million.

Jamie McCourt, meanwhile, paints a different monetary picture in court papers:

“Frank has access to the vast monetary resources of the Dodgers and other McCourt entities . . . I do not believe it is appropriate that I should be required to invade” savings to pay for living expenses — which she estimated at $489,000 a month

Half a million dollars a month in walking-around money?

Shut up.