Item: One No Trump

I always thought Donald Trump ably provided his own parody, but he declines to stay within himself (as sports-speak has it) in this new TV spot for Double-Stuffed Oreos. It features Trump and his doppelganger , SNL’s Darrell Hammond, challenging the brothers Manning (Eli and Peyton) to a “lick race” in the Double Stuf Racing League.

The spot is amusing in an idiotic sort of way, but any ad that includes Donald Trump and the word “lick” gives me the willies.

Actually, I’m not so comfortable with that choice of words either.

Item: GOP Reaches Whole New Level of Crazy.

The rumpus over Barack Obama’s back-to-school speech scheduled for next week is nothing short of remarkable. Republicans could conceivably make a reasonable case against it (Obama is getting a disproportionate amount of free airtime), but instead they’ve chosen to swing for the fences, thereby rendering their objections, well, disproportionate.

Witness this Boston Globe report (via the Associated Press):

President Obama’s back-to-school address next week was supposed to be a feel-good story, but Republican critics are calling it an effort to foist a political agenda on children, creating yet another confrontation with the White House.

And here’s how Republican lawmakers depict that “political agenda:”

“As far as I am concerned, this is not civics education – it gives the appearance of creating a cult of personality,’’ said Oklahoma state Senator Steve Russell. “This is something you’d expect to see in North Korea or in Saddam Hussein’s Iraq.’’

Talk about shooting a fly with an elephant gun – is anyone this side of the lunatic fringe supposed to find that credible?

Here’s another overcaffeinated response:

In Florida, GOP chairman Jim Greer released a statement that he was “absolutely appalled that taxpayer dollars are being used to spread President Obama’s socialist ideology.’’

C’mon, people – you wouldn’t know a socialist if he walked up to you and picked your pocket. Obama’s about as much of a socialist as Glenn Beck is a comedian.

Again: the GOP has a legitimate beef with Obama’s free ride in the media. But they turn it into Spam with their wee-wee’d up reactions.

Item: It’s Most Valuable Player, Not Most Productive

Allen Barra had a nice column in Thursday’s Wall Street Journal making the case for New York Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter as American League MVP this year.

For one thing, Barra writes, it could represent MLB’s equivalent of the Oscar’s Lifetime Achievement Award for actors (Paul Newman in 1987’s “Color of Money”) or directors (Martin Scorsese for “The Departed” in 2007).

But Barra doesn’t stop there. While he stipulates that Jeter doesn’t have the best numbers among AL batters this year,  he turns to more nuanced Jeter supporters for support.

The case for Mr. Jeter as American League MVP is being made by more subjective arguments. “How do you measure the value of inspiration and professionalism?” asks Marty Appel, author of “Munson: The Life and Death of a Yankee Captain.” “Some people will argue that intangibles don’t exist, but in the ninth inning of close games, everybody believes in them.”

And some, like Allen Barra, believe in Derek Jeter as this year’s AL MVP.