Having no life of its own, the hardwatching staff guerilla-monitored Boston television stations’ Election Night coverage.
New New Hampshire Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-I Will Not Let That Happen), after trouncing
Charlie Bass (D-Flounder) Paul Hodes (D-Baloney), declared her victory at 15 CPM (Cliches Per Minute).
Representative sample: We are taking our country back.
Taking it back from other Americans, Kelly? Or what?
Fox News Channel calls the Massachusetts gubernatorial race for Deval Patrick.
MSNBC: Chris Matthews looks like hell. He sounds that way, too.
CNN: It’s like they had a chinstroker bakeoff and everybody won. On the set: Candy Crowley, Anderson Cooper, Soledad O’Brien, David Gergen, Eliot Spitzer, Kathleen Parker, Gloria Borger.
Can you have too much punditry?
Bill Delahunt calls 10th Congressional race for Bill Keating. WCVB’s Heather Unruh Uncalls it.
Sean Bielat concedes to Barney Frank after taking on “a 30-year incumbent in one of the most gerrymandered districts in the state.” But mostly Bielat tells his wife she’s going to drop their baby (three times) and tells the crowd “I’m worried for my son’s safety.”
Sean Bielat is an idiot.
Say goodbye to Barney (The Big Purple Congressman) Frank, and say hello to the old snarky Barney:
“This election has confirmed the complete political irrelevance of the Boston Herald.”
Charlie Baker delivers a classy concession speech. If we’d seen more of this Charlie Baker during the campaign, the race would have been a lot closer tonight.
Deval Patrick (D-Four More Years!) continues his Mr. Rogers impersonation.
Did you vote for Deval?
I knew you would.