Having no life of its own, the hardwatching staff guerilla-monitored Boston television stations’ Election Night coverage.
9:30ish
New New Hampshire Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-I Will Not Let That Happen), after trouncing Charlie Bass (D-Flounder) Paul Hodes (D-Baloney), declared her victory at 15 CPM (Cliches Per Minute).
Representative sample: We are taking our country back.
Taking it back from other Americans, Kelly? Or what?
10ish
Fox News Channel calls the Massachusetts gubernatorial race for Deval Patrick.
MSNBC: Chris Matthews looks like hell. He sounds that way, too.
CNN: It’s like they had a chinstroker bakeoff and everybody won. On the set: Candy Crowley, Anderson Cooper, Soledad O’Brien, David Gergen, Eliot Spitzer, Kathleen Parker, Gloria Borger.
Can you have too much punditry?
Bill Delahunt calls 10th Congressional race for Bill Keating. WCVB’s Heather Unruh Uncalls it.
Sean Bielat concedes to Barney Frank after taking on “a 30-year incumbent in one of the most gerrymandered districts in the state.” But mostly Bielat tells his wife she’s going to drop their baby (three times) and tells the crowd “I’m worried for my son’s safety.”
Sean Bielat is an idiot.
10:30ish
He’s baack:
Say goodbye to Barney (The Big Purple Congressman) Frank, and say hello to the old snarky Barney:
“This election has confirmed the complete political irrelevance of the Boston Herald.”
11ish
Charlie Baker delivers a classy concession speech. If we’d seen more of this Charlie Baker during the campaign, the race would have been a lot closer tonight.
Deval Patrick (D-Four More Years!) continues his Mr. Rogers impersonation.
Did you vote for Deval?
I knew you would.
Campaign Outsider 
Well let’s see… Reagan for 8, 2 years of Clinton and Democrats lose mid-terms; 8 years of Clinton, 2 years of Bush and Republicans lose mid-terms; 8 years of Bush, 2 years of Obama and the Democrats lose the mid-terms; three cheers for democracy….Charlie Baker turns out to be a nice guy, but we need a good leader without the Republican rant; cut taxes, cut jobs, and let the market create new jobs through trickle down…yeah that’s works for them!
Ayotte beat Hodes, not Bass.
Thanks, Bob. That’s what I get for writing late.
I wonder if the ever gracious Barney will thank all the dinner tables that voted for him?
I quit drinking, and they repeal the tax on alcohol. If I quit smoking, next thing you know they’ll repeal the tax on cigarettes. I propose a tax on leafy green vegetables.
Life’s a bitch, yeah Bud-day?