Because they’re morons, that’s why.

Call the roll.

• From The Root:

NY Knicks Player Robbed by 2 Women

Knicks forward Derrick Williams took two women he met at a New York City nightclub back to his apartment. When Williams awoke later that morning, $750,000 worth of valuables were missing and so were the women.

After a night out on the town Friday, New York Knicks forward Derrick Williams returned to his lower-Manhattan apartment with two women in tow.

According to the New York Post, Williams awoke to find the women gone and $750,000 worth of valuables gone with them.

Okay.

Number One: You bring two strangers home with you?

Number Two: You fall asleep?

What the hell?

• From the Wall Street Journal:

Knicks Player Cleanthony Early Is Shot in Knee, Robbed

Player was held up at gunpoint after night at strip club

New York Knicks forward Cleanthony Early and his girlfriend had just settled into the back seat of an Uber car after a night at a Queens strip club when the car came to halt.

Two to three cars carrying as many as six men boxed in his vehicle along a commercial stretch in the Elmhurst neighborhood around 4:15 a.m. Wednesday, and then two men carrying small semiautomatic guns pulled him out, according to a law-enforcement official.

“Give me everything you got,” one of the men said, according to the official.

The men, one masked and one unmasked, took a small amount of cash from Mr. Early, his gold tooth caps, gold neck chains and two cellphones, police said.

Then, one of them shot Mr. Early in the knee.

Okay.

Number One: You take your girlfriend to a strip club?

Number Two: Two men with semiautomatics steal your gold tooth caps?

What the hell?

Maybe Knicks shaman Phil Jackson needs to abandon the triangle offense and institute a triangle defense for his players.