It’s auction season for the arterati, and yesterday’s New York Times was the Antietam of tony gavel houses in the Big Town.

There was, for instance, this Christie’s ad in the A section:

Which sends us to this video presented by Loic Gouzer and Gary Gardner (no idea who they are):

No idea what they’re talking about.

Next up, this ad from Bonhams:

That’s “The Garden Chair” by Frederick Carl Frieske (no idea who he is – apparently you have to be a millionaire to appreciate him).

Then came the Andy Warhol portion of the auction action.

From yesterday’s Times Weekend Arts II section:

And this:

Warhol we get – although we’ll never get one.

Then Phillips checked in with this Mark Rothko piece:

And finally, Sotheby’s had this anemic half-page ad featuring a Jeff Koons whatever:

Maybe they should eat more spinach, yeah?