Dead Blogging The Super Bowl Ads

Once around the Super Bowl Adstravaganza, James, and don’t spare the horses.

So Super Bowl XLVII turned into a pretty good game out of what seemed to be shaping up as a stinker.

Too bad the ads didn’t follow suit. As usual, they were high on production, low on delivery.

A review, in roughly chronological order. (All spots available here.)

First Quarter

Bud Black Crown.  Sorry, the hardworking staff doesn’t know anyone who wears black lipstick.

M&M Red Love. Sorry, we like asexual candy.

Audi Prom. Okay. We can relate.

Go Daddy Bar Refaeli Kisses a Geek for 18 Seconds. Ugh.

Doritos-Eating Goat. Okay. We can relate.

Pepsi Next Wild Party. Never happen.

Best Buy Amy Pohler. Funny, but why not just set fire to $4 million.

Oreo Library Donnybrook. Yes! (Sorry. Yes.)

Second Quarter

Doritos Princess. Awkward!

Calvin Klein Slo-Mo Beefcake. Awkward!

Cars.com Wolf. Awkward!

Bud Light Voodoo. Stick this.

Got Milk. Milk it good.

Volkswagen Get Happy. Get real.

Coke Chase. I got your chase right here.

Taco Bell. Late-bird special.

Third Quarter

BlackBerry 10. Not available until next month. BlackBury.

Bud Light Lucky Chair. “It’s only weird if it doesn’t work.”  This spot’s weird.

MiO Fit. Is it just us, or is Tracy Morgan not that funny?

Wonderful Pistachios. Didn’t Psy say he wasn’t doing that Gangnam thing anymore?

Beck’s Sapphire. A singing fish? Really?

Budweiser Clydesdale. The heartstrings of America.

Dodge Ram “So God Made a Farmer.” Best of the lot.

Fourth Quarter

Tide Joe Montana Stain. A wash.

Mercedes. How to waste Kate Upton.

Samsung. The Next Not-So-Big Thing.

Ditto the Stupor Bowl ads.

Update from our Compare and Contrast in Clear Idiomatic English desk:

Interesting to look at USA Today’s Ad Meter results alongside boston.com’s Brand Bowl. No idea what it says, just interesting.

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