Someone Please Put Alex Rodriguez Out Of Our Misery

From our Couldn’t He Be Al-EX Rodriguez? desk

The hardretching staff – a Made Yankee Fan in Boston since 1974 – has long considered Alex Rodriguez a cancer upon the Pinstripes, and that’s never been truer than now.

From New Yorker writer Ian Crouch’s latest piece:


Detroit Tigers v New York Yankees - Game Two

When we left Alex Rodriguez, in mid-October, he had reached what then seemed to be the nadir of his mostly prodigious career, finding himself helpless and despondent at the plate and benched in key moments during the playoffs. His lone accomplishment in a dismal series against the Tigers came when he reportedly used his perch in the dugout to obtain the phone number of a female fan in the stands. (From the Post: “A-Rod Plays the Field.”) Then, after the Yankees fizzled out of the postseason, news came that he was getting hip surgery and would miss a good chunk of the next season.

Now Rodriguez may have discovered another level down toward rock bottom, with the publication of a detailed report in the Miami New Times that accuses him of buying banned performance-enhancing drugs—including steroid creams and human-growth hormone—from a so-called anti-aging clinic in south Florida, beginning in 2009 and continuing through last year. (Rodriguez has hired a lawyer, and his representatives have released a statement denying the allegations. ESPN reported on Tuesday that the Yankees were exploring ways to void his contract.)

Please God, if there’s any mercy in this world, exercise it now and A-Rid of us this al-ball-tross. The hardwishing staff believes we speak for all Yankee fans in saying we’d be eternally grateful.

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4 Responses to Someone Please Put Alex Rodriguez Out Of Our Misery

  1. Bob Gardner says:

    As long as he can come out of the hospital and walk 50 feet with a cane there’s no reason for him to retire.

  2. Curmudgeon says:

    An you think juicing in professional sports has ended?
    Why won’t the players’ unions agree to the actual testing they have contractually agreed to?
    Anyone with a quarter of a sense knows the answer to that.

    PEDs are what make good players great players. Take the PEDs away ,and they fall back, sometimes all the way back to mediocre or less.

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