Headline in a national newspaper ad:

YOU WORK FOR THE BEST FIRM IN THE CITY. YOU MAKE SEVEN FIGURES. YOU SPEND LESS TIME OUTSIDE THAN PRISONERS ON RIKERS ISLAND.

The solution?

FIND BALANCE. FIND ULTIMAT.

Vodka, that is.

Translation: Drinking alcohol trumps all.

Good luck with that.

P.S. Absolut did it a lot better.