Metrosexual bible GQ just published its list of the 40 Worst-Dressed Cities in America, at at the very bottom – ranking behind Cleveland, Buffalo, the Jersey Shore, Wasilla for heaven’s sake, and good God Burlington, VT – is . . . Boston!
Graphic:
Text:
Boston is like America’s Bad-Taste Storm Sewer: all the worst fashion ideas from across the country flow there, stagnate, and putrefy. To be fair, it’s hard to be a fashion capital when half of your population is made up of undergraduate hoodie monsters, including those unfortunate coeds who don’t realize that leggings-as-pants were supposed to be paired with tops large enough to conceal their cameltoes. Yet when they graduate, they can wear their Uggs and still fit in at the country’s largest frat party on Lansdowne behind Fenway, where they can take breaks between body shots to admire just how long boot-cut jeans can stay in style in one place. And any classy lady from Beantown is bound to be impressed by formal sportswear. “But Boston is the epicenter of prep style!,” you say? That’s true, but due to so much local in-breeding, Boston suffers from a kind of Style Down Syndrome, where a little extra ends up ruining everything: Khakis!—with pleats. Boat shoes!—with socks. Knit ties!—actually, no one in Boston seems to have ever seen one of these. For the more proletarian-minded, there are the modest little burgs of Cambridge and Somerville, where everyone dresses like the proprietor of his or her very own meth lab. If you wonder how a people can live like this, well, it’s Jurassic Park for fashion troglodytes: life finds a way.
Wicked ouch.
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Well, I fell for the pitch, and looked at the pictures, fast clicking over the ads, and I have to say, that I didn’t see a thing, one way or the other, that made one city better or worse than the next, or in any kind of order for that matter. It was all kind of so what?
Withe you there, Al. Then again, we obviously don’t have the trained eye that GQ does.
Did you catch the offensive “Down Syndrome” pun that the Herald lambasted and has since been removed from the text?
Did you catch the offensive “Down Syndrome” pun that the Herald lambasted and has since been removed from the text?
Thanks, Ed. Updating now.
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Total lie. I’m not the most dapper gent by any means but I’m shocked by how badly dressed Boulder (#40 on the list) is. At least Boston has its share of weirdos and pseudo-Victorian artsy types.
It’s only when you venture into the traditionally blue-collar (i.e. has at least one gangster movie about it) towns that you get bad fashion. And even then it’s not ever as sartorially questionable as the company you’d have to keep if you ever decide to go on a three-day bender in Jersey. Been there, done that, next please.
In these matters, I routinely defer to the Missus.