That’s right – debates with an s.

Monday night there were two Boston mayoral shindigs: The Create the Vote forum at the Paramount Theater, and the NECN/Boston Herald/Suffolk throwdown at the (almost) next-door Modern Theatre.

The hardsitting staff endured almost three hours of the 12-way dustup, so our remarks here will be brief.

Start with the banged-out Paramount bakeoff, which featured nine of the mayoral candidates and a focus on the future of arts and culture in Boston.

Good news: Every one of the nine promised to be “the arts mayor of Boston.”

Bad news: Never gonna happen.

High/lowlights of the forum:

Biggest Panderer: Rob Consalvo referring (multiple times) to “the privilege” of working for Ted Kennedy and receiving one of Kennedy’s artworks for his wedding.

Biggest Overpromise: John Connolly said “walking into City Hall should be like walking into the Apple Store.” Yeah, but . . . not enough Geniuses, right?

Biggest Oxymoron: “The Clemons Administration.”

Biggest Disappointment: Wait for it . . . Charlotte Golar Richie.

Biggest Scofflaw: Charles Clemons, who bragged about his Dorchester pirate radio station, which still owes $17,000 to the FCC.

Timex Award: Golar Richie arrived late, Mike Ross left early.

Signs o’ the Times: Marty Walsh had the most – and the most vocal – sign holders outside the Paramount.

The Create the Vote forum, however, was a pillow fight compared to the NECN dustup, which variously featured:

• Bill Walczak calling the proposed Suffolk Downs casino a “public health disaster”

• Charlotte Golar Richie saying, No – gun violence is a disaster and casino loot should go toward crime prevention

• Charles Clemons saying, No – gambling is a disaster

• Dan Conley saying – after all kinds of waffling – that his kids don’t go to public school because he wanted a religious education for them

• Connolly defending Conley (confusing!)

• Charles Yancey “not criticizing Conley” but referring to candidates’ “levels of investment” (confusing!)

• David James Wyatt saying nothing

• NECN’s Alison King asking Richie about her supporters trying to cull the minority candidates

• Richie asking King if she’ll pose the same question to the white candidates

• A whole lot of candidates square-dancing about letting Chick-fil-A and WalMart into Boston despite their anti-gay, anti-labor practices

• Marty Walsh contending he can effectively negotiate with labor unions that are bankrolling his campaign

• Others contending he cannot

• David James Wyatt saying nothing

• A Suffolk University student asking about the drug molly and subsequently being called “Molly”

• Blah blah blah community policing

• Blah blah blah Dan Conley failing badly

• David James Wyatt speaking!

• But saying nothing

• Candidates saying Tom Menino should stop being mayor seeking a new school superintendent

• Candidates saying Tom Menino should keep being mayor cutting development deals

• Candidates saying both

• Candidates saying Tom Menino should stop being mayor, period

As a matter of fact, Menino will stop being mayor in three months. And one of these guys – or gal – will replace him.

How do you feel about that?