The hardworking staff decided to try something different last night: We listened to the presidential debate while watching the Yankee game. Any similarity between the two is purely coincidental.

9:03-9:15 “You’re a liar!”

“No, you’re a liar!”

It’s going to be a long night.

9:21 “Candy, can I just say something, here? He’s a liar!”

“No, he’s a liar!”

Are we there yet?

9:31 [Bottom 4th: Detroit 1, New York 0.]

9:35 Mitt Romney (R-I’m Talkin’ Here) drags out “top 5% will still pay 60% rate” dodge. When will someone point out that 60% of reduced tax revenues is money in top 5% pockets?

9:40 Wait – all of a sudden Romney is a proud ex-governor of Massachusetts? He balanced the budget four years running? (It’s a constitutional requirement.) He appointed a bunch of women to his cabinet? (Welcome to the 20th century.)

[The home plate umpire apparently put his contact lenses in upside down, because that pitch wasn’t even in the same zip code as the strike zone.]

9:42 Gotta ask America: Do you want to wake up every morning to Romney’s smug, condescending smile? Because he thinks even less of you than he thinks of Barack Obama (D-Is Romney Still Talking?).

9:45 Question to Romney: Are you George W. Bush in venture capital drag?

Romney: No, because I’ll crack down on China.

Obama: Anyone who thinks he’ll crack down on China is on crack.

[Top 5th: Miguel (Triple Crown) Cabrera doubles. Detroit 2, Yankees 0.]

9:50 Obama defends his first term.

9:52 Romney blowtorches his first term.

9:58 Question on immigration from a woman whose name no one can remember. Anyone got a name tag policy?

[Bottom 5th: Detroit 2, Yankees 0. Are the Bronx Bumblers really gonna get shut out again?]

10:02 Romney: No, Candy, I won’t answer your question. I’m going to continue . . . (At this point the hardlistening staff is starting to wonder if Romney’s not just a little too hot for a town hall format.)

10:08 At long last, Libya. Obama talks about Iraq, Afghanistan – anything but Libya.

[Top 6th: Three up, three down.]

10:14 Obama: Yak yak yak act of terror yak yak yak greeted caskets yak yak yak . . .

10:17 Question for Obama: What have you done about assault weapons?

Obama: Yak yak yak broader conversation yak yak yak comprehensive solutions yak yak yak . . .

(Closed captioned for the Obama-impaired: Nothing.)

Romney: Two words – Fast & Furious (also describes Yankee fans jumping ship).

10:26 Romney: On Day One I’ll declare China a currency manipulator.

Obama: China currency up 11%.

Romney: Don’t care.

(Over all, the Chinese haven’t been demonized like this since the last Fu Manchu movie.)

10:30 Last question: What’s the biggest misperception about you?

Romney: That I don’t care about the 100%.

Obama: That I believe he cares about the 100%.

[Super: “Yankees haven’t scored a run in 18 innings.”]

10:39 Merciful end to the debate.

[18 innings? Make that 19.]

11:15 [Merciful end to the game: Yankees – finally – score one in the 9th, but strand two, lose 2-1.]