The hardsearching staff is, sorry to say, unable to locate the Wall Street Journal’s graphic “The End of Whitey’s Run: The online buzz about the FBI’s capture of James ‘Whitey’ Bulger, the alleged crime boss and police informant.”

But here are the relevant numbers:

JOKES     39%

“Whitey Bulger is captured, Osama bin Laden is dead, where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?”

SHOCK/EXCITEMENT     28%

“Bin Laden & Whitey all in one year . . . and the Bruins win the Stanley Cup!!! Does it get any better than this???”

CRITICISM OF FBI     20%

“Whitey Bulger got caught at 81 years old. What’s the point?”

ANTI-BULGER     13%

“I can’t believe people are actually upset that Whitey was finally caught. The man butchered people.”

13%? Really?

It sure seems like some events don’t exist in reality any more – they only exist in the media.

Which is to say in the abstract.

That’s not just sad. It’s scary.