BP’s “Making This Right” media campaign is a slow-motion train wreck, starting with anything featuring CEO Typhoid Tony Hayward, a man who truly puts the “damage” in damage control.

(Can we agree that Hayward is the worst media spokesman since Iraq’s Comical Ali? I knew we could.)

Then there are the full-page national newspaper ads, such as the Making This Right/Claims ad that has claims rep Darryl Willis claiming this:

So far, we have paid more than 19,000 claims, totaling more than $53 million.

For those of you keeping score at home, that would be an average payout of $2789.47.

Big whoop.

Meanwhile, news reports carry headlines such as this (from the Boston Herald – trust me):

GULF BUSINESSES AILING AS BP DELAYS PAYMENTS

So maybe things aren’t as rosy as Darryl Willis says.

Memo to BP: Advertising never trumps reality. Never.