Here at the Global Worldwide Headquarters of Campaign Outsider, it’s always a banner day when more than one letter pours into the ol’ mailbag.

So imagine our excitement when we received two – count ’em, two – survey-related missives in one swell foop.

The first came from:

UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF COMMERCE

Economics and Statistics Administration

U.S. Census Bureau

It was our official 2010 Census Advance Letter, and it said:

Dear Resident:

About one week from now, you will receive a 2010 Census form in the mail. When you receive your form, please fill it out and mail it in promptly. Your response is important. Results from the 2010 Census will be used to help each community get its fair share of government funds for highways, schools, health facilities, and many other programs you and your neighbors need. Without a complete, accurate census, your community may not receive its fair share. Thank you in advance for your help.

Sincerely, Robert M. Groves
Director, U.S. Census Bureau

Go to <2010census.gov> for help completing your 2010 Census form when it arrives. [Note: this sentence is repeated in Spanish, Chinese, Vietnamese and Russian]

Yeah, that seems like a good use of taxpayer dollars.

Yo – comin’ at ya!

The second letter we received, compliments of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, contained our official Republican Senate Leadership Survey (Registration #: 52.09.3365. Actual purpose: fundraising).

The salutation:

Dear Friend,

Your immediate attention is required on a confidential and time-sensitive matter.

You have been selected to represent your local voting district in the Republican Senate Leadership Survey.

No doubt much to the dismay of our local voting district.

It has long been the case that Republican Party surveys are True-False, while Democratic Party surveys tend to be multiple choice.

The Republican Senate Leadership Survey only reinforced that.

True: We love getting these fauxraising surveys.

False: We represent our local voting district.

Sorry.