Gisele Bundchen’s midwife has delivered an exclusive interview to the Boston Herald, telling the breathless tabloid that “Bundchen had ‘no pain’ and ‘no fear’ during her natural childbirth in a bathtub in the Beacon Hill home she shares with husband Tom Brady [stats]” (football, presumably).

The midwife, Deborah Allen, also said that “Bundchen focused on breathing deeply so she could ‘relax and be present in the moment’ while she labored in the warm tub water.”

But . . . “Citing Bundchen’s privacy, Allen wouldn’t say who was present.”

Okay, wait – who was there is private, but it’s okay to reveal EVERYTHING ELSE? Including this?

[Allen] described a calm atmosphere with no bright lights or strangers. Bundchen was free to move around, “change positions, make sounds, drink, eat, receive affection and encouragement and rest”

Funny definition of privacy. Isn’t there some kind of midwife-patient confidentiality law? Allen told the Herald she “she hoped news of Bundchen’s unconventional birth would spur interest in natural childbirth.”

In other words, “Make Me a Supermidwife.”